Sandy-Cheryl-PP - One Heart Healing Center

April 12, 2022 at 6:03 pm

Dear Sandy (Wrote this after letter below earlier; I could see back then you would do this so well!)
I have thought of you often over the years. Of all of the people who I lost touch with I miss you the most. I have fond memories of you and your home and the later years at BBSH. I felt in you an authentic friend and my part in disappearing from you and your friendship is unforgivable in retrospect.
When BBSH moved to Florida years ago, I was in a hard place in my life. And unfortunately with all parts of my “old life” and “transition life” way back then, I foolishly cut all ties to everyone and every place I had known prior to 1998.
I was broke, struggling and essentially homeless and the overlap between my old life and the life I wanted to build was wearing me down, tearing me apart. I could no longer hold all of it and stay sane or meet every day basic survival needs. And there were people who were actively sabotaging me in MA from my old life.
So I decided I had to move to start fresh and was waiting for a sign of what to do. One night doing a bellydance show I did for small money in a club in Cambridge I unexpectedly hit it off with one of the guys in the band who played my show. Of course he was a drummer. Meanwhile a house showed up needing a house sitter, so I had place to stay for a good while as the owner wanted to tour the world.
Steve and I ended up becoming a couple and after 9/11 moved to Maine. With his small resources we bought a house together. We were together almost 25 years. I was wife to him and mom to his teenage daughter. We put on large bellydance shows around New England for quite a few years. I ended up being the singer and rhythm guitar in the band at the shows and in clubs we played. We also built a business together which we still have today. And we did lots more that would bore you to recount. We had a great community in Maine built over 2 decades.
Steve got really sick 6 years ago and he passed away in this February before I could finish setting up the house we bought here in Fitchburg. So I am in a place of starting anew again and I am also in a place of remembering the phases of my life. It has been a full one and my only regrets are the loss of the people I thought were friends who could not tolerate me after my transition, and those I stopped connecting with like you.
There is a ton more I could write about the past years, but it likely would bore you. I am in a peaceful place within myself. My dog Diamond has been with me for 14 years and is now arthritic and blind, however she remains a wonderful friend. My daughter and her husband live close by and they are great to have in my life and me in theirs. I have become part of other things here plus I still work, so my life is full.
I hope your path has been what you have wanted. Your way with animals I remember as amazing and hope you kept that going. You seemed really happy on your farm and in your home.
I am not expecting anything in return, I just finally felt I should write. I have missed you.
Love and hope you are happy!
Lisa Casselli
lisacasselli@aol.com

Comments

Lisa Casselli says

April 12, 2022 at 6:03 pm

Dear Sandy (Wrote this after letter below earlier; I could see back then you would do this so well!)
I have thought of you often over the years. Of all of the people who I lost touch with I miss you the most. I have fond memories of you and your home and the later years at BBSH. I felt in you an authentic friend and my part in disappearing from you and your friendship is unforgivable in retrospect.
When BBSH moved to Florida years ago, I was in a hard place in my life. And unfortunately with all parts of my “old life” and “transition life” way back then, I foolishly cut all ties to everyone and every place I had known prior to 1998.
I was broke, struggling and essentially homeless and the overlap between my old life and the life I wanted to build was wearing me down, tearing me apart. I could no longer hold all of it and stay sane or meet every day basic survival needs. And there were people who were actively sabotaging me in MA from my old life.
So I decided I had to move to start fresh and was waiting for a sign of what to do. One night doing a bellydance show I did for small money in a club in Cambridge I unexpectedly hit it off with one of the guys in the band who played my show. Of course he was a drummer. Meanwhile a house showed up needing a house sitter, so I had place to stay for a good while as the owner wanted to tour the world.
Steve and I ended up becoming a couple and after 9/11 moved to Maine. With his small resources we bought a house together. We were together almost 25 years. I was wife to him and mom to his teenage daughter. We put on large bellydance shows around New England for quite a few years. I ended up being the singer and rhythm guitar in the band at the shows and in clubs we played. We also built a business together which we still have today. And we did lots more that would bore you to recount. We had a great community in Maine built over 2 decades.
Steve got really sick 6 years ago and he passed away in this February before I could finish setting up the house we bought here in Fitchburg. So I am in a place of starting anew again and I am also in a place of remembering the phases of my life. It has been a full one and my only regrets are the loss of the people I thought were friends who could not tolerate me after my transition, and those I stopped connecting with like you.
There is a ton more I could write about the past years, but it likely would bore you. I am in a peaceful place within myself. My dog Diamond has been with me for 14 years and is now arthritic and blind, however she remains a wonderful friend. My daughter and her husband live close by and they are great to have in my life and me in theirs. I have become part of other things here plus I still work, so my life is full.
I hope your path has been what you have wanted. Your way with animals I remember as amazing and hope you kept that going. You seemed really happy on your farm and in your home.
I am not expecting anything in return, I just finally felt I should write. I have missed you.
Love and hope you are happy!
Lisa Casselli
lisacasselli@aol.com

- Sandy Rakowitz says
  
  April 27, 2022 at 7:13 pm
  
  My dear Lisa,
  I am so grateful to be back in touch with you!
  Love,
  Sandy

Comments

Leave a Reply Cancel reply