Soothing your heartbreak from pet loss is gradual. Everyone who has animals knows at some point that they will have to face their pet’s death. Whether the death was gradual at the end of a full life or a youngster meeting an untimely death, or a sudden illness or injury prompting their passing, most of our animal’s life spans are shorter than ours.
Loosing a pet can be just as difficult, traumatic and heartbreaking as losing a family member, because they ARE family! Pet Loss can be a delicate, tender, emotional and deeply personal time.
Everyone deals with pet loss in many varied ways. Whether the beloved who died was an animal or a person loss is still a loss. The fabric of daily life definitely changes with the loss of your companion and good friend. Animals bring so much comfort, security, loyalty and love. Animals have a way of reaching into our hearts so incredibly deeply.
I have had the honor of living with many animals over the years, and had to face many deaths. From cats wondering off, accidents, illnesses, and long and sweet endings, I have gotten quite a bit of ‘practice’ with this challenging transition.
While I don’t think there is a formula for getting through pet loss, I have found some common things that have been helpful to soothe my heart and have helped me find my way through death and loss. For some, talking about their loss can be rather difficult and intense. I hope that these tips are helpful and inspiring.
Tips for Grieving Pet Loss: Loosing a beloved animal;
1) Be honest about your feelings and thoughts. Know that you have the right to feel deep loss, heartache, guilt, depression, lack of emotion, denial and even anger.
2) Follow your instincts- to take time to know what you need, and to tend to your heart
3) Send prayers- for yourself, and for your animal who has passed
4) Plant a tree, flowers or a garden in memory of your beloved
5) Create a memorial, like a board and/or picture slide show or tribute video. Paint a memorial stone – to learn how to paint a DIY pet memorial stone, click here
6) Display pics around the house or create a special place to honor your loved one
7) Journal, write or draw your feelings using different colors for expressing feelings
8) Cry…giving yourself permission to cry
9) Talk with a trusted friend who can really listen. Talk some more!
10) Know that the connections in your heart that you have had with your animal will always remain. You will always be linked even though they are no longer in their physical body.
Loosing a beloved animal has its own rhythms that can go up, down and all around.
Grief does not have a neat time schedule and it rears up sometimes when you least expect it.
Sometimes it shows up days, months or even years later.
The Group picture above was my horse Sunny’s Birthday Party, a week before he passed away at 37 years of age. Sunny and I are on the left – he is the all grey-white horse.
Taking time to veg out, cry, write, talk… whatever you need do to help your heart and to honor the memory of your animal is all important.
Take the time you need. Trust your instincts.
Feelings of grief often do not fit into a neat package….and heartache takes time to mend. If someone in your life doesn’t understand the depth of your grief, give yourself permission to gracefully not have to interact. Your feelings are real, valid and important.
Find ways to express what you loved and appreciated, and what you learned with your animal friend. Express your favorite memories. These are all your prayers.
View my video tributes to two of my animals who recently passed; My dog Liza and my cat Scarlet that are on my Youtube channel.
What have you found to honor your heart and your furry, winged or scaled friend who has been part of your family and is one of your beloved? Write in the comments. You are not alone. Others care, and understand the depth of your love.
Please join us to Connect with Pets who’ve passed to ease, comfort & guide your heart in an online class to Paint Pet Memorial Stones – Click Here
This process saved me from crumbling into the grief as I used to do in the past. To feel -on purpose -the connection as one way to receive their love and wisdom.
You will be guided to use the grief as fuel for moving forward…
…allowing expression beyond words to emerge.
Connect even if there’s a desire to disconnect, go numb from Pet Loss.
It is possible to connect even through massive, challenging transitions into life without your beloveds in the physical…
…so you can find the fuel for your own precious, tender, beloved heart.
Whether a recent loss, or one long ago…
…you do not need any creative or art experience,
Just show up to the class,
and I will lead you through the steps to soothe pet loss.
There’s a super simple supplies list – Pen and paper.
Though you can add in any colored pens, pencils, markers, paints.
Questions? Email Sandy – Click Here
Sandy Rakowitz of One Heart Healing Center for People & Animals, the Holistic Tips Expert, and Transformational Soul Coach who helps people & their animals live healthier, more vibrant, intuitive, fluid & inspired lives.
Sandy has over 30 years in the field of Animal Wellness. Providing Practical Health & Behavior Solutions for People, Horses, Dogs, Cats, Exotics.
Sandy has been communicating with animals for almost two decades. One of her specialties is communicating with animals who have passed over, and assisting with people to help them through grief.
I just lost my beloved Bessie who had been my companion for 9 years. I got her from the pound, thanks to my friend the Dog Warden, Beverly Kirkhart. Bessie came to me full of fear, having been abused and then dumped onto the street. She became more relaxed and even trusted people other than me, thanks to my handy man and friend, Tim. We walked 2 to4 times a day. She got sick last year with nose bleeds, when halted. She encountered these again with severity in the past three weeks, while I tried and the doctors tried to quench the bleeding. Truth was, she had cancer in her head. I fear I let her go too long. I saw her wanting to eat and drink and had all bodily functions, enjoying play with toys. So, back and forth to the vet we went, until it became very evident that she was suffering. I had her euthanized on Tuesday, March 10. I feel my heart will break. I like what you wrote here and have participated in these activities for Bessie and for other who went before her. Thank you God for this valuable and loving friend. She will always be in my heart.
I am so sorry for your loss Carol. It can be so challenging to have life be so different without them by our sides. I am glad you have been using some of the tips to help you through this time. Continue to find creative ways to support yourself as you learn to navigate through this time. Blessings to you. Sandy
I experienced this identical loss this past Wednesday, our beloved black Labrador who was our Furbaby Child, we got her as a pup and had her for 10.5 years, she was my child in every sense of the word, had we been able to literally design amazing personality traits, it would not be possible, as she literally was truly an amazing, loving, dedicated loyal, intelligent, caring sweet, soft natured creature. I lay with her as she took her last breaths and I am truly traumatized and my heart literally aches, with a sadness and longing I could never have imagined ? ? I knew the day would come and it would hurt, but I could not have prepared for the pain I feel… I loved her to bits from the moment I looked into her smiling honey eyes, and I will miss her and long for her for the rest of my days…she definitely imprinted my heart with puppy paws ? and I pray one day she will be waiting with her wagging tail in excitement of seeing her mama when my time comes ????????????
A broken hearted Furbaby ~mama
I am so very sorry for this loss of your lovely dedicated loyal sweet one. The pain we feel deep in our hearts is also the depths we feel our love and connection. May your heart continue to mend as you go through your days adjusting to the changes that have occurred. We cannot change what has happened, but we can find soothing and outlets for our pain that will help us move forward making good use of our love in new ways….as our animals want us to be able to do. They do not want us to stop living because they are gone. I like to ask, what would they want me to be able to do now? How could I use this love to be of service for others? peace and blessings for you as you continue to move through this time with your tender heart. Please seek out additional support. There are many good resources available locally and via internet. If you’d like to have support with me, please Click Here.
I lost my baby (as i call her) on Wednesday after a short battle with Kidney Failure. Even the vets were shocked on how quick she went. I had to make the call to put her to sleep as she was going anyway and i had to end her pain . I know was right to end her suffering but the guilt i feel is awful.
I have lost my father , my uncle , my granny and some friends and other dogs in my life ( im 33) all were sad but the pain of losing this particular dog i’ve never felt before. I am unbearably sad and cannot stop crying. I’m devastated ,I still have another furbaby left who i love also with all my heart , but this little girl just held an extra special place for some reason, and i don’t know how to cope.
I’m so sorry Leah for the loss of your sweet one. There can be a cumulative effect after so many losses. And animals reach into the deepest part of our hearts. Please seek support from a professional who is trained in dealing with pet loss. Getting support is so important to be able to hold yourself through this loss. Your sweet one would want you to have support wouldn’t she? She’d only want your heart to get help and find soothing. Feeling guilty for making life ending decisions is one of the biggest things I hear. To make that decision about someone we love challenges our heart and goes against our instincts. It’s important to work with a professional who understands this, and can help you process through this so your heart can mend. Your connection will always be present in your heart even though she’s no longer in her body. Peace and blessings.
I’m so sorry . I just lost my baby Bamboo to ketoasatosis 2 days ago. It was very quick We didn’t even know he was sick until a few days prior. I had to make the call to put him to sleep when the vet told us there was nothing more he could do for him . I feel so much guilt and my heart is completely broken . He was only 6 1/2
Oh Michelle,
I’m so very sorry to hear of you’re loss. Any loss is hard, and sudden ones are particularly challenging as there is so little time to adjust before.
Sigh, I’ve had sudden losses where I didn’t know my loved one was ill as they hadn’t been showing signs or the vet didn’t pick up on what was happening either.
I know that feeling guilty as if you’d done something wrong somehow, or not done your best… but that’s not how they see us and we aren’t to blame…
…even for the young ones… I’ve had 2 and 3 year old go suddenly and unexpectedly from things not picked up… devastating but they do not want us to blame ourselves.
After one of my cats died at 2.5 years old I went through so much deep grieving with guilt. She coached me on releasing all that guilt – it was a lot of work and worth it. They do not want us to carry around all that weight of self inflicting pain. They want us to find our hearts and freedom and joy. Peace and blessings,
Sandy
I loved my Jill so much. She was the perfect dog for my family because she had addisons’s disease and she required extra attention cost and care. I would take her out on walks in my power wheelchair which was fast enough to keep up with her. She did hate slow pokes. I would always think after a long wal ‘I wonder who enjoyed that more her or me Finally age and disease caught up with her and we had to put her down. My entire family was there in the final moments, sobbing and sending her off. I will always love and miss her.
It is so sad to have lost a family dog. And Addisons can be so challenging. She sounds like such a wonderful, loyal and compassionate companion. As hard as it is I am glad your entire family was able to be surrounding her in love together as you sent her off. Adjusting to life is so different when our companions leave. They want us to be able to carry on evenso, Peace and blessings.
24th August 2016 I Lost my best friend Bruno.
I seriously feel like I cant cope.
10 years he was in our lives and he was there for me for anything, comfort, play around, annoy me even lol.
I cant stop crying.
He would of been 11 in October so he did well for a Rotty.
The most gentle, loving and attention seeking doggy I know.
Always my Best Friend.
Love you Forever Bruno xxx
I am so deeply sorry for your loss this past summer. Our gentle loving friends give so much of themselves to us and our bond is so deep indeed. I hope that you have been gradually finding comfort. I know that these have been some of my most difficult times, after loosing one of my beloved dogs, cats, horses. Is there something you have been able to do to create comfort, soothing for yourself during this time? Which of the 10 suggestions did you find the most useful? ( I am sorry to not have responded sooner. I was moving across the country when your post came in, and I am now just seeing this after settling in and catching up.) Again, my deepest sympathy for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my girl, Misha, a few days ago. I had her for 15 years and I am really suffering right now. I just can’t seem to get my feet back underneath me, so to speak. It helps to hear your story. Thank you and I’m sorry about Bruno.
I am going through this now. My Carlee has cancer and we are in palliative care. I’m so grief stricken I can’t explain. I just don’t know how to go on once she’s gone. We’ve had other dogs in the past but this one has been the love of my life. She has been the glue that kept me from leaving ?
I am so very sorry to hear your Carlee has cancer and that you they are in palliative care. Anticipatory grief is normal, though not always easy to navigate. Please do reach out to get emotional support for yourself. Many communities have excellent pet hospice support emotional services. Most are now online. Please look into this for yourself and pursue getting support in whatever forms are needed immediately.
Here are few possibilities for you and Carlee:
https://spiritsintransition.org
http://www.griefhealing.com/index.htm
https://www.birchbarkfoundation.org/griefsupport
https://www.lapoflove.com/community/Pet-Loss-Support
https://www.lapoflove.com/education/anticipatory-grief
Peace and blessings for you and Carlee.
I lost my best friend named Chloe. She was a adorable chihuahua who was so sweet. She ran away by getting scared of something in the middle of the night. My other dog came back screeching, so I began to worry. It has been 4 months and she still has not come back. We searched every where and asked everyone. The whole neighborhood came to help us, but we could not find her. Her birthday was October 11 and I was hoping maybe she would come back but she did not. She did not have a collar on so I am afraid someone picked her up and took her away from me. I am only 12, and I got her when I was 10 so I had not had her very long. She was a Christmas gift to me. So I believe on Christmas this year, she will comeback to me.
Elise I am so very sorry to hear your sweet Chloe ran off. Go to animaltalk.net to look for an animal communicator who connects with lost animals. I know how difficult it is when an animal goes off and you do not know where they are. Sending tenderness to your heart.
My jack russle Ariel the most sweetrst loving and caring dog. That lovrs tho Olay and is always happy just passed away friday from getting hit by a car we took her to the vet and everything was good except for bleeding and the vet was stitching her up and her heart stopped we think it must of been from a heart attack. Its hard for me to go I havent even been in my bedroom since that day and have been sleeping on the couch I wont even be home if no one is here I feel really empty without her here It hurts soo much!!
Sierra,
I am so deeply sorry for your loss of sweet and loving Ariel. Letting yourself feel the feelings of loss as you are able is an honoring of your love for Ariel. Would she want you to only sleep on your couch, or not be in your home? She loves you, will always love you, and you will always have a place for her in your heart, as she does for you. May this time be one of gentle healing for your tender heart.
Today the family fur baby died. His name is Underdog. He is only 1 year old. Though he didn’t stay long in our lives he still leaves a lifetime memories to remember. He is such a sweet and naughty baby. He is my laughter and giving me so much joy. Our home is different now without him. It’s feel so empty. I wish I could see him in my dreams tonight. To say my final good bye. To give him my final hug. My final kiss. I will miss you so much Underdog. I love you forever.
Ohh, I am so very sorry for your loss of Underdog. Yes, life and the home is so different when they leave. Your words are a sweet love letter for him.
My sweet Rudy, a Great Dane only 14 months old died a few days ago. He was a cleft palate puppy that we saved by feeding him with a syringe every 2 hours until he could have surgery. Four months later he developed wobblers. He had such a will to live and was such a clown. Sometimes I think he kept trying because he loved me. He finally could barely walk and was suffering so much I chose to euthanize him. I held him for his first breath and for his last. It was torture choosing to let him go so young. Even though he was in pain he would stand up and shake with joy when he saw me. My heart is broken and I feel lost without him.
Oh Diana, I am so very deeply sorry. Rudy sounds like such a strong wonderful spirit. It’s one of the most challenging decisions we can make, to let a loved one go like this, especially one so young. May these tips help give your heart a place to focus your love with your dear one.
Today, Spikey died. He is 10 years old. we took her to the vet but she said the chances of survival is bleak. We had him euthanized at 12mn Sept. 6, 2017. He was hit by a car.
He is my jogging companion, he is jealous of our cats when we take notice of them before him, he is friendly with other dogs, we will miss him so much especially when we get home as there’ll be no one to greet us anymore 🙁
I’ll follow your tips for coping with pet loss, Sandy, thank you for this article.
Gladys, sigh, we are so very sorry that your loved one Spikey recently passed away. It is such a sudden loss when losing one this way and takes so many adjustments day to day. Feel him with you when you jog. If you think you see him out of the corner of your eye, know he is with you. I hope when you get home you speak with him, for your heart, and for your connection. Stay in TTouch. Let us know how you are doing. That goes for everyone too!
Our Brendis passed away yesterday. His heart stopped while recovering after the surgery to remove a cancer-infected organ. We spent 12 years together and he was there through my teens up to mid-20s. A true friend, a confident a brave spirit, the one who always had his own opinion about things. I see many comments here and I too feel like my heart and world has lost its center piece. We all loved him so much, beyond what words can express. I found an expression yesterday ” a heart dog”, he was truly mine. I hope i did everything right for you my friend and that our spirits will find each other again at some point.
And Sandy, thank you, for the article and for the space to leave a comment like this. It matters a lot.
Dear Ernesta, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet one Brendis. Our animals show us the depths of our own hearts through their unconditional loving. To have someone witness and partnering through so many life transitions and changes is special indeed. Your “Heart Dog” is always deep within your heart. Breath into your memories and allow the connection in this new form, ever present. Thank you for your love together and taking the time to write and share with us. We all need to know others love deeply with our animals.
We just lost our Skooter in the night yesterday. He died of heart failure in the hospital. He was 10. Skooter was one of those “special” dogs that come along, if you are lucky, maybe once in a lifetime. When he was younger he was our biker dog. He had goggles, helmet and leather coat. He road with my husband in a dog carrier on my husband’s chest. He was adorable. He was one of those special dogs that repeated “I love you” and then “I love you, too”. It was so cute. He was Jack Russell-poodle mix. His hair stuck straight up on his head. He was the cutest ever. Our house is so empty and I cannot quit crying. I keep praying to God just for one little sign from my Skootie. I need to know he’s ok and how deeply we loved him. I just wish the pain would go away
Carlotta, those special dogs are the best, and so deeply missed. Have you considered writing Skooter a letter? Or a series of letters? He sounds like you had so much fun and adventure together. I know they hear you when you speak, and express all of what is in your heart. I hope you find the tips in this article to be helpful for your tender heart. And if you need or would like additional support please do contact me, sandy@OneHeartHealingCenter.com
My beloved Leo passed away last night. He was such a good little boy. He was with me for 14 years. He didn’t have a bad bone in his body. We used to have these funny conversations him and me, a miaowing kind of talk back and forth. Loved him so very, very much. I said ‘you’re a good little fella, you’ve always been a good boy. ‘He wasn’t well suddenly. I thought he’d get well, as I’d taken him to the vet many times. When I had chickens, he used to sit in the chicken coop, guarding them. I miss him dearly. Last night in the small hours, I felt like he was saying to me, ‘thank you, I’m fine, I’m fine now, thank you for everything’ , which just made me cry all the more.
H Merrilyn, So very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your heart here. Those tears are such an important part of the deep love you carry in your heart. I am so glad you were able to hear him in the night. That is so very beautiful. Let yourself continue to find ways to process your relationship and honor him. Grief and how it flows through has it’s own rhythms. Keep letting your love flow as you honor and continue to listen to him. Your love continues through time and space and is not limited to his physical body. If you’d like additional support, please contact me, sandy@onehearthealingcenter.com Peace and Blessings.
Merrilyn, So very sorry for your loss of Leo. Such a deep friend for so very long. I am glad that you were able to hear him. Keep letting the grief pass through you like water…soothing and healing your heart. Peace and Blessings, Sandy
I just lost Oscar. The pain is too deep. I saved him as a ferel cat the labor day weekend after my younger brother passed. I felt they had a connection. I was told last April that because he had small blood clots in his heart or lungs- not sure that he would not last two months. He did. and very surprizingly so. I loved him more for that. He would have digestive problems at times but he always got better.This last week he was crapping on the living room rug in about the same area. I cleaned it up and was so frustrated that I stuck his nose in it. Now I really regret that. And last Wednesday after work his eyes seemed off. But Icalled him and he came. After that I was eating and of course he wanted some. I shooded him away and kept eating. After a while I felt something was wrong and didn’t act on it. That was wrong. He died after that. I am heartbroken. We lived alone and he was my family. I miss him so much.
Oh, Roberto, I am so very sorry for your loss. He was such a strong being. I hear your regrets. Our animals show us so much, and our love runs so deeply with them. What kind of support do you have for working with all the pain, self-forgiveness and your grief? I remember being given a gift many years ago by a friend who lead a group of us through a guided visualization to reconnect with our loved ones where we had felt we did wrong by one or more of our animals. This was one of the most powerful teachings for me, and it was possible for me to reach back and work, and be with what I felt I did wrong…through many steps, to be able to release my anger at my self, and find a new way through this pain. I hold this as possible for you as well. I hope that you have great, compassionate support around you and call on those who care and love you. If you’re in need of additional support through this time, additional support via sessions is also an option. Please contact me if so. sandy @ OneHeartHealingCenter.com Peace and Blessings for you. Sandy
Last Wednesday I had my best friend put down. We were a team ,when I had cance, he layer on the pillow beside me. He always has since I found him abandoned in the country. His ear was infected contuniually for over a year . Many different antibiotics and steroid were used with temporary effect at best. He was constantly scratching at his ears which believe caused him to suffer. He was16 years old. He was still eating and purring but the infection was back to the point ear smelled. I just hope I didn’t put him dowm too soon. It feels like I betrayed my best friend whom I’m lost without. Thanks to anyone that take the time to read about my cat Hollywood.
HI Cate,
I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your cat. Having an illness over a long period of time can be so hard with it reoccurring. Hopefully you are able to take in your compassionate comments to Roberto for yourself as well – to forgive yourself. Your care and loving is something your cat knows always.
Lost my dog two nights ago. I had her for fourteen years.
She went through so much with me in my life.
I got through long abusive relationship with her by my side.
My ex was the one who found her and brought her home.
I care for her and loved her so much and had so many nicknames
and always talked to her. She would follow me around with her
eyes as I went around the house.
Pretty much never felt this much pain before.
I am going to write prayers down for her from me and my other
animals and burn some candles to help us feel better with
the lack of her physical presence. My heartfelt feelings for
all of you going through this loss. May time heal the holes
in your hearts.
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss Bonnie. It is quite an adjustment when our beloveds leave their bodies and are no longer physically with us. Though it is not the same, I hope you continue to talk with her, and know that she is with you deep in your heart always. It does feel different, but important to get to know what their presence feels like when they are no longer in the physical. This has been an ongoing learning for me with each of my animals (and people) who have passed over. Everyone will feel different. I hope that you are able to recognize her presence and let this soothe your heart and guide you. I am glad to hear you are writing and doing some things to help. Please see my Youtube channel for some of the ‘lovesteam’ live streams i have done on this very topic after the loss of my father. Contact me if you are looking for additional support and assistance in moving through this time. Peace and Blessings, Sandy
I lost my sweet little buddy several days ago. It was tragic and unexpected. I’m sick with grief that she died the way she did, terrified and alone. I wasn’t there to save her. I am full of “if only’s” and “should haves”. She was so so sweet to me. Always excited to see me. Her food could wait, I was her priority. 🙁 She was only half way through her natural life span. It was too soon. I can’t get the image of the way I found her out of my mind. It’s torture and my chest hurts with sadness, guilt and regret. I wrote her a letter and plan to make her a special grave marker. I miss and love her so much.
Hi Lia,
I’m so very sorry to hear of the loss of your sweet one. Fill yourself with pictures of your beautiful life together. I encourage you to continue to write letters to your beloved about all that you loved and appreciated; about the favorite things you did together. Keep writing as many letters as you can over time to refill with the love you share and always will.
You can look for a local pet loss group. And, you’re welcome to schedule a session.
Letting go of the ‘what If’s,’ and filling yourself with what you had and the connection you have in your heart always.
Peace and blessings,
Sandy
I had my dog calie put down. She was ok but her back legs have out.calie was a pit bull.the sweetest loving would never hurt anyone.she was 17yrs old.i had her 15 yrs.I loved her so much.im 60 yrs old .I dont have wife or anyone in my life living with me.Calie was so especial. And I’m having a real hard time dealing with loosing her.I loved her evry day an had the strongest bond of my whole life was with her.I dont know when or if I will ever get over the loss of cali
I am so sorry for your loss of your dear Cali. The changes loss brings are many and can touch into other losses from throughout your life.
The change from having a companion who is so beloved is vast.
Finding ways to support yourself in these changes is really important.
Doing things to honor Cali and your life together are important. To feel the feelings, and have someone to speak woth who understands deep loss and has experience supporting and understanding the loss of an animal who you’ve been deeply bonded and connected with is important. Please seek out help. Please do go through the examples in this article, and try them out one by one. Even if they seem strange or silly. Just keep going. If you need or want additional help please contact me. Sessions can be extremely healing.
Our dearest Teddy lost his battle to cancer 2 weeks ago. He was our fur baby at 10 years old we called him the forever puppy. A most unique and handsome small statured Boston terrier. He filled our hearts with joy and passion, he filled our home with energy and love, he went everywhere with us…up mountains, down rivers, across the country, to work as fixed human bodies and around town for errands. He was brave, stubborn and oh so wise. So smart, so human! The most human dog I’ve ever known. Just as another comment mentioned…we would say:”who loves mommy” he would answer-“I do!” He was the puppy of the house and he was the captain of this decade together. My wife and I are still in deep sadness over his loss and the cancer that took so much away from him. We cared for him with all our love until the very end…I only wanted him to know we would tend to his every need throughout his journey, that we would watch carefully over his body and listen to his sign that he was tired and ready for peace…he was a love a unique love and gave us his whole heart, for that I am thankful. We pray our hearts will fill up again and that the treasured memories will be the sweet balm to carry us forward through the tragedy of his death. It is so good to read others stories, it is helpful to hear about your pain as it reminds me I am not alone. Thank you all for sharing and thank you sandy for creating a safe space for our vulnerable hearts. Teddy I love you more and more each day.
I am so sorry for your loss. Teddy sounds so special and what a beautiful, tender tribute to him and your lovely life together. Each loss is also unique as our connections are so deep and they fill such special places in our hearts. The changes in routines are such a big piece of this change. You are not alone, not only with others who have had their own experiences with loved ones who have passed, but with Teddy deep in your heart, always. Peace and Blessings.
We had to put our dear Fifi to sleep March 20th. We had her for 16 years (since she was a wee kitten) and she was the most loving and gentle soul! She was diagnosed with lymphoma last July, had her gallbladder removed and was on chemotherapy which we administered at home. Two weeks ago we noticed jaundice and were very worried, when we went in the vet said it looked like her liver was failing, they could do blood work but given her condition and age there was a probability she would not wake up, and if she did and there was treatment she would not have a very good quality of life and would be in pain. Taking all of this into account, we made the heartbreaking decision. We did not want her to suffer. Fifi was a true joy and the house feels incredibly empty without her, I have been crying none stop since that initial appointment last week and wish there was something else we could’ve done. I love you and miss you terribly Fifi ?❤️
I am so sorry to hear about your dear Fifi. These are such difficult decisions to make for someone’s well-being. That wishing you could’ve done more is such a sign of your deep love and care.
Letting go of someone who has filled your heart and days with so much contact, connection and joy is a big transition for yourself and your heart. Your tears are washing the windows to your heart. Her love continues in your heart.
Please seek support with those who understand the depth of loss experienced when a beloved pet passes. Most communities have pet loss support groups. If you would like to schedule with me, for animal communication with Fifi, and support for yourself during this time please contact me – go here: https://onehearthealingcenter.com/get-aquainted/ Peace and Blessings.
Thanks for the excellent suggestions for healing—I never thought to write my beloved, departed dogs a letter! But it is a great idea! Also a great idea to plant something or make a tribute video. My last dog died last July at age 12 or 14 (I rescued her as an adult and her age was just an estimate by a vet). At the time I found her, I had another dog; he passed away at age 14 a few years later. Losing them both one at a time has been devastating. People say to get another dog, but I am not emotionally able to do that. I am still dealing with the loss of my little angels. Between the two of them, I have had a dog in my life for 20 years straight. It is such a precious bond.
I’m so sorry for the loss of both of your beloveds. Sigh.
Let me know how it goes with writing a letter and planting something for them. Although tears may be shed, letting out your expressions of love and caring are good Medicine for your heart.
And please do let me know if you need additional support. It’s so important for stories to be shared and support for our hearts. Grief has its own rhythms and can be surprising at times.
With love and appreciation,
Sandy
Today is May 16th, 2021, I lost Roxy on November 21, 2020. I continually break down and feel like my heart is still in a million pieces. My dog Roxy was my rock, my best friend and soul mate. I spoke with a pet psychic once who told me that we have always been together in all our past lives and it’s a beautiful eternal dance. Our connection and respect for each other was one of a kind.
I adopted her from a shelter as a tiny puppy. She was my world when I went through my divorce and through all the nonsense that comes with that.
Losing her has been quite traumatic. She was only 12 years old, a mutt and extremely smart. Her body started leaking fluids and found out quickly it was lung cancer and not much could be done. She was in pain those last weeks and I just felt like it happened so fast that I had to say goodbye. Through the months I have done everything to heal. I miss her so much and I just want to feel her energy by my side and I know that I won’t feel her until I am unclouded by the grief. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have a wonderful guy by my side who has been there for me through all of this but even with all that love I am still deeply depressed with no motivation. My job is being effected as well as my soul. I have lost pets in the past but nothing has ever felt like this. I want to be happy again by just knowing she is always there but I am lost, I don’t know how to get there
Hi Dawn,
If you’d like to speak, please email me. I’m wondering what you’ve done so far. Have you done any EMDR? Was there earlier trauma? I have some ideas but talking directly for this would be better.
When there is ‘fragmenting’ or as you said ‘shattering’, there are some delicate and important ways to work. This is more than a single session and calls for particular types of work. Please email me so we can speak to see if I can help and if not I would give you a referral sandy@ OneHeartHealingCenter.com
Peace and blessings, Sandy
I lost my beloved cat Bandi (“Bundy”) after 19 years + 2 months four weeks ago tomorrow. I never loved anyone as much and as fully as my Babdicat, nor have been loved as wholeheartedly. It has been years since I cried, now it’s a daily gift. My heart aches, I miss him terribly, wonder where and how he is and hope his little heart is not aching too. He died in my arms after the vet put him to sleep because he had become very ill. I feel guilty that perhaps I should have taken this step earlier but I felt he would leave on his own when it was his time. He didn’t want to leave me. I now realize he may have suffered, was not merely in discomfort. I asked his forgiveness. I so miss his sweetness and kindness, his mischief (liked to steal food when I wasn’t looking), his healing presence and paws, sandpaper and silken tongue, his little tail that had a crook in the end–I read once it was a sign he was a princely cat in Egypt in a former life, assisting bathing princesses who placed their rings on such tails that held them carefully in place. Otherwise, Bandi was a hardy plumber who loved to take drain stoppers apart, a black-and-white baby heifer handsome dude. I imagine he is with his little sis, Lilly, aka Lillyput, who left us a year ago April, curled up together purring. I wish I could be there too. It’s getting easier to cry.
Hi Amy,
I’m so sorry to hear you lost your sweet Bandi. It sounds like he was a special being and clearly deeply loved.
Feeling guilty is normal, though it is good to get support in clearing and releasing this emotion. I am glad you are able to cry and release some of the emotion.
Blessings to you,
Sandy
Ps if you’re interested in a communication session and healing this can be extremely healing. Blessings and go gently during this time.
I am sorry to all of you for your losses i am going through a hard time myself right now cuz my old man marley i have had for a 11 or 12 years can barley walk now so i am trying to figure out what to do cuz i don’t have money to get him into the vet and i feel so horrible but i love him so much and it is breaking my heart knowing he won’t be here much longer and idk what to do
When dealing with a decline of function I’ve found it helpful to continue to stay emotionally and physically present with both yourself and your animal. Continuing to take good physical care of their needs, like picking them up to take them outside to go to the bathroom and supporting them when they eat.
I’ve found that saving money each week like not having coffee, or other extras and setting that money aside for vet care to be helpful. Many vet offices will offer a payment plan if you call ahead and ask and set up a realistic payment plan.
Blessings to you and your beloved.